I am finding it very hard to process Kemen’s disqualification from the #BBNaija house and I don’t know why, because he wasn’t even amongst my favorite housemates.
From what I gathered, he was evicted because he suppossedly molested #Tboss by touching her boobs while she was asleep, “without her consent.” For a program that teaches nothing but sexual immorality by showing X-rated adult contents, that was a lame and outrageously shocking excuse.
To molest is to touch or attack someone in a sexual way against their wishes. And from the video I just watched on that incident, even though Tboss was seemingly asleep, there was nothing to show that she disapproved of it after she discovered that Kemen was touching what seemed like her boobs, even though she turned and gave him her back. Obviously, she wasn’t attacked and it’s not like he raped or attempted to rape her either. So, what’s the fuse about? Or maybe, he was suppossed to wake her up and say “Tboss, please, can I touch your boobs?” and wait for her to say “Yes” before he goes ahead to touch them. I am just trying to picture it out and it sounds very funny to even do that, really. For me, the nature of the show gave rise to his action. There can be no question about that.
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A similar incident happened when #DebbieRise kissed #Bassey while he was asleep without his consent. You’ll recall that Debbie Rise had made efforts to kiss Bassey all day long but he refused. If Kemen’s action was deemed an act of molestation, one is left to wonder how DebbieRise’s action was different from those of Kemen’s, and why she wasn’t also disqualified.
For me, the organisers of the show have missed the opportunity to show that molestation is not a gender specific issue. It is not peculiar or exclusive to women alone. Men, too, get molested.
This is outright crap. There was no moral justification for Kemen’s eviction. There was none whatsoever.
While discussing this with a friend, she said: “The question is, why is permission not taken to touch other housemates boobs and squeeze their ass’s (especially Uriel’s gigantic ass) but permission should be taken to touch those of Tboss?” “Is it that Tboss is more special than other housemates or Big Brother is falling in love with her, already?”
…truly, I couldn’t help but agree with her reasoning.
Let me make this very clear before I am miscontrued. Touching Tboss’s boobs without her consent was wrong as long as you agree that DebbieRise kissing Bassey without his consent was wrong as well. When we talk about molestation, we should balance it by trying not to be partial in how we look at these things. Women sexually molest men. Women rape men. But no one talks about that. Its all about the women and I honestly think that ain’t fair.
Judging from the context of Big Brother Naija, I don’t think it is even possible for anyone to even talk about molestation. “Consent” and “force” are key words in determing whether an action is molestation or not. While it is easy for us to establish when force is used, it is not that easy to determine whether a person consented to a sexual activity or not. To put it quite simply as it is, I don’t think partners seek for permission by word of mouth and get same before engaging in sexual activity. For most adults, sexual activity is spontaneous not premeditated.
I feel pained for Kemen’s eviction. And for me, this is such a low moment in the program considering he could easily have been punished with something lighter.
The manner in which he was expelled from the house was shocking and very touching.
By Shadrack Bako